Dealing with insecurity

Never realised how fragile I was until now.
Well I kind of did. But now I have to deal with it.
'Cause you deserve someone who believes in herself. 
That's not me.
Not now anyway.
And not even telling you all my stories will make you understand.

I don't like complaining when you do something I don't like because what if that is the thing that drives you away? 
I don't like telling you when I'm sad because I don't want to keep bother you with... well.. me. 
I don't like sharing some stuff because it's one more piece you get of me. 
I don't like telling you I feel self-conscious because what if you think... better... what if you realise I go nuts for almost nothing and that I'm just a basket case you don't want to deal with?
I can't tell how oven I think you don't care about me. How oven I think I'm more committed than you and that you are getting tired of it.. of me.  

But I'm trying. I really am. Sharing little pieces of writing that I did (crying) at 3 am is such a big step! You're not the first that I wrote to or about. You're not the first I told about those kind of letters. But none of them got a chance to read it. And they asked. The same amount (if not more) of begging that you did. 

I'm sorry. 
I'm sorry if I ask for to much attention. It gets to my nerves too. 
I'm sorry if sometimes it seems like I don't believe in you or us or whatever. It's just me I don't believe. 

I'll keep trying. 
Trying to think positive.
Trying to believe in myself. 
Trying to not over think every single thing.

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